Funerals

If you want a funeral in Queensland today you can either recruit a funeral director or go it alone. If you choose to go it alone, there is not much help out there.

I believe that there needs to be a better option. I believe that a funeral service should fully represent the person who has passed, it should support the people who are grieving and it should be supported from within a community. I want to create an alternative that provides this option.

Here, you will find the resources you need to create your own funeral, your own way to express your love and your grief. I encourage you to look around this site and if you need anything any all, just call me and together we will figure it out.

When a loved one passes

Organising a funeral is one of the hardest things you can do. When a loved one passes on, it can be a difficult time for those they loved and shared their life with. As a family member or a friend of the person who has passed, the way that you will grieve their loss and celebrate their life will be unique to them and to the relationship you shared.

The purpose of a funeral is to pay tribute to the person’s life and in our own way express our love and appreciation for them. When delivering a service for your loved one, it is my hope that at the end of the ceremony you will feel happy that you took the opportunity to be in the presence of others who have also known and loved them.

As the funeral celebrant it is my role to hold the space so that together, with tears, and with laughter, we can dip into the vast ocean of your memories of your beloved. And it is my sincere hope that those memories, spoken and unspoken, nourish you and keep your loved one with you.

“Tears are a river that takes you somewhere…Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it downriver to someplace better.” Clarissa Pinkola Estes

DIY FUNERALS

When a loved one passes, the Funeral industry will be knocking on your door with crazy price lists and pressure you into believing that spending equates to love.

It doesn’t.

Remembering your loved one in the style and manner that suits them, and your family is what is important. Don’t listen to the people trying to sell you crazy things, listen to your heart. The family in the pictiure above, held a unique funeral. In the picture you can see us coming together to decorate his casket. The casket was made by his brothers and uncle. His friends all came together to share stories and decorate the casket. The whole journey from end of life to the service and cremation is being taken care of by family and friends. Such deep love and such beautiful healing ceremony. Give me a call if you would like to talk about ways to make your, or your loved ones final farewell reflect them and not cost you the earth.

Marene – 0438 921 655

Build your own casket
Being with a loved one as they die
Important Documents
Dying and the health care system

Important Documents

There are some important documents relating to your health care and your end of life. Some of them are important before you die, and some are important after you die. There are also some things that are not legal documents, but that you might like to prepare. I encourage you to keep all of this information together, up to date and in one place and make sure someone you trust knows where they are.

You can download copies of these documents online; there are many versions available.

Legal documents valid while you are alive
1. Advance Health Care Plan
2. Advance Health Directive
3. Enduring Power of Attorney

Legal documents valid after you die
4. Will

Non-legal documents:
5. Legacy documents
6. Care Plan
7. Death Plan
8. Funeral Plan

Advance Health Care Plan

 

An Advance Health Care Plan (AHCP) helps you to make plans for your future medical treatment and care needs. It sets out what quality of life would be acceptable to you and what treatments you would or would not agree to for your medical or health care.

In Queensland your AHCP might include:

  • an Advance Health Directive
  • an enduring power of attorney
  • Statement of choices
  • a letter to the person who will be responsible for your decision making
  • an entry in your medical record
  • instructions which clearly voice your view.

Preparing your AHCP encourages you to reflect on what is important to you, your beliefs, values, goals and preferences in life. It explains how you want to be cared for if you reach a point where you cannot communicate decisions about your medical care. It keeps you involved in your medical decisions, both now and in the future, whether you are healthy or have an illness.

Advance care planning becomes important should you become so unwell that you are no longer able to make decisions or communicate about your medical and care needs. By creating a plan in advance, your doctors and family can understand how you would like to be cared for. Your family and friends will find it easier to make informed decisions on your behalf, because you have explained your wishes and what is important to you.

Statement of Choices

Queensland Health has made planning easier by developing a Statement of Choices form. Your Statement of Choices focuses on your values, wishes and beliefs. It is not a legal document and you do not have to use it, you may have a different format, or you may wish to write this information out in your own document. It is a record of your future preferences for care and medical treatment. It can help your substitute decision maker to make health care decisions if you are not able to make decisions for yourself. The information contained in in your statement can be used to guide the way you are cared for.

If you want to utilise the Queensland Health Statement of Choices, chose the correct form from the two options below:

If you are filling out an advance care plan for yourself:

  • Download and complete the Statement of Choices Form A (PDF, 453KB).
  • Form A can be completed by an adult with the capacity to make decisions about their health care into the future.
  • Do NOT complete Form B.

If you are filling out an advance care plan on behalf of someone else:

  • Download and complete the Statement of Choices Form B (PDF, 456KB).
  • You can only complete Form B on behalf of another adult if you are their substitute decision maker if they do not have the capacity to make decisions about their health or communicate those wishes.
  • Do NOT complete Form A

Advance Health Directive

An Advance Health Directive (AHD) is a legal document that formally records a your instructions for future health care and comes into effect only if you become so unwell that you cannot able to make your own decisions. The Queensland Government has an approved form (below), although you can use another form.

QLD: Advance Health Directive Form (Form 4)

You can indicate if you would like your advanced health directive to apply at any time when you are unable to decide for yourself, or you may want it to apply only if you are terminally ill.

Download QLD: Advance Health Directive Form (Form 4)

Enduring Power of Attorney

An Enduring Power of Attorney (EPOA) is a legal document that enables you to appoint another person or persons to make personal, health and financial decisions on your behalf if you become unable to make your own decisions.  You can appoint different people to make your health decisions and financial decisions, or you can appoint one person to make both health and financial decisions. Also, you can appoint more than one person and ask them to make decisions together. You can also appoint someone to make your financial decisions even while you still legally have capacity to do so yourself (general power of attorney).

QLD: General Power of Attorney (Form 1)

Use this form if you want someone to act as your attorney for financial matters while you have capacity.

DOWNLOAD QLD: General Power of Attorney (Form 1)

 QLD: Enduring Power of Attorney – Short Form (Form 2)

Use this document if you wish to appoint the same attorney/s for both financial matters and personal matters (including health care).  You may also use it to appoint an attorney (or attorneys) for financial matters only or for personal matters (including health care) only.

DOWNLOAD QLD: Enduring Power of Attorney – Short Form (Form 2)

QLD: Enduring Power of Attorney – Long Form (Form 3)

Use this document if you wish to appoint an attorney/s for personal matters (including health care) and a different attorney/s for financial matters. If you wish to appoint the same attorney/s for both personal/ health and financial matters, you use the short form.

DOWNLOAD QLD: Enduring Power of Attorney – Long Form (Form 3)

If you would like to revoke or cancel the appointment of a person as your enduring or general power of attorney, the you can access the appropriate forms here and here (QLD).

Your will

Your will is a written document that appoints an Executor/s to manage your affairs after your death. It states how you would like your assets to be distributed when you die, and the person or organisation you would like to be responsible for carrying out your wishes. Your will also lets you:

  • name one or more guardians for your children
  • establish a trust to provide for your children or a person with a disability
  • preserve your assets
  • give money to charity and philanthropic organisations

Making your will is important because, if you die without a valid will, you die ‘intestate’. This means:

  • your assets will be distributed according to the Queensland laws of intestacy talked about in Part 3 of the Succession Act 1981 (PDF, 490KB)
  • there is no guarantee that your assets will be distributed as you would like
  • your family or friends may not be provided for as you wish
  • it may take more time and money to finalise your estate.

Having a valid will is the only reliable way to ensure that your estate goes to family or friends of your choice after you pass away. Having a valid and up-to-date will can help reduce stress for your family and friends, limit the costs to administer your estate, and lessen the possibility of disputes over your estate.

The Queensland Government provide heaps of useful information about preparing your will. Click here to read their information.

Legacy Documents

Sometimes people want to leave letters for loved ones to read after you die. People find this particularly important when they are leaving children behind. You may even want to write a card for future birthdays or big events like wedding days or the birth of children.

You may want to leave stories about your life to record memories or to share your beliefs, understandings, or lessons from life.

Care Plans

It’s a good idea to have a care plan. The people who provide care (aged care workers, health care workers, nurses) may be able to help develop a care plan to best support your care needs. A good care plan may:

  • show how pain and other symptoms might be managed
  • show how cultural, emotional and spiritual support can be provided
  • help family members make decisions about care options
  • help those involved know what to expect
  • show how support to families and carers through the bereavement process could be provided.

Building your own casket or a casket for your loved one

Below you will find plans to make your own casket. Please note that if you intend to cremate, cremation chambers in Brisbane vary in size. These plans are fairly standard size, however if you need a very large casket, you will need to check the chamber size and you may also need extra bracing. Please don’t hesitate to get in touch if you have any questions.

I would like to thank Steve Davidson,  Adrian Davidson and Rod Secomb for these plans. Steve has prepared these plans and generously provides them to you from the casket he, Adrian and Rod made for their brother and nephew Russell Davidson.

Dying and the health care system

Dying is something that happens to your whole being, not just your physical body and can beging long before you actually die

Your quality of life, medical treatment and pain control are all important matters. Pain control is important, as there is no need to suffer unnecessarily. If you are physically comfortable you can go through the process, you can be with friends and family, reflect on your life and your relationships with others, and grieve and express your love. It may be a time of growth, emotionally and spiritually for you and those you love.

In 2015 Australia was ranked second in the world when in the Qualitive or Death index. We have this high rating do to:

  • A strong national palliative care policy framework;
  • high levels of public spending on healthcare services;
  • availability of opioid analgesics;
  • extensive palliative care training resources for general and specialised medical workers;
  • subsidies to reduce the financial burden of palliative care;
  • Wide availability of opioid analgesics;
  • strong public awareness of palliative care

Palliative Care

The legal definition of palliative care varies between each Australian State and Territory. Generally however palliative care is an act or omission, medical procedure or other measures to maintain or improve the comfort of a person who is, or would otherwise be, subject to pain and suffering. Some definitions also refer to it as the relief of pain, suffering and discomfort.

In practice, palliative care is broad and can include pain medication, oxygen, intravenous or nasogastric feeding, delivery of blood products, anti-nausea medication and anti-anxiety medication. Counselling and spiritual interventions may also provide palliative care.

Palliative care is aimed at ensuring dignity, compassion, equity and respect for the person at the end of life. In Queensland there is palliative care services available for adults and there is one available for children.  Your palliative care team will be able to answer any questions you have, and your questions will likely change over time. Here are some questions that you may ask:

  • What is palliative care?
  • Will anything be lost by opting for palliative care?
  • How long do other people with this illness usually live?
  • What will my quality of life be?
  • What might I expect in the future with pain and other symptoms?
  • Are there treatments which will lead to recovery?
  • Are there treatments that will extend life?
  • What are the side effects of treatment or medication?
  • I am worried that….. will happen. What can be done to prevent it or alleviate it?
  • Can you advise me on committing to a holiday or event in the future?
  • What are good days going to be like?
  • What are bad days going to be like?
  • How can I explain what is happening to others?

Euthanasia and Assisted Suicide

Euthanasia is a deliberate, intentional act of one person to end the life of another person in order to relieve that person’s suffering. For example, a doctor injects a patient with a lethal substance to relieve that person from unbearable physical pain. The term euthanasia is often used in different ways. Three of the most common are:

  • Voluntary euthanasia: Euthanasia is performed at the request of the person whose life is ended, and that person is competent. For example, a doctor injects a competent patient, at their request, with a lethal substance to relieve that person from unbearable physical pain.
  • Non-voluntary euthanasia: Euthanasia is performed and the person is not competent. For example, a doctor injects a patient in a post-coma unresponsive state (sometimes referred to as a persistent vegetative state) with a lethal substance.
  • Involuntary euthanasia: Euthanasia is performed and the person is competent but has not expressed the wish to die or has expressed a wish that he or she does not die. For example, a doctor injects a competent patient who is in the terminal stage of a terminal illness such as cancer with a lethal substance without that person’s request.

Suicide is the intentional act of killing oneself. Assisted suicide occurs where a person intentionally kills themselves with the assistance of another (who provides the knowledge or means to do it). For example, where a friend or relative obtains a lethal drug and provides it to the person to use to commit suicide.

Physician-assisted suicide occurs where a person requests a doctor to assist them in committing suicide, for example, a doctor provides a person with a prescription to obtain a lethal dose of drugs.

 

Is Euthanasia and Assisted Suicide legal in Australia?

Euthanasia is illegal in all Australian States and Territories, and may result in a person being charged with murder, manslaughter or assisting suicide.

Assisted suicide is illegal in all Australian States and Territories except for Victoria. On 29 November 2017 the Victorian Legislative Assembly passed the Voluntary Assisted Dying Act 2017 (‘the Act’), which will legalise voluntary assisted dying (physician-assisted suicide) in Victoria from 19 June 2019.

The Act provides for and regulates access to Voluntary Assisted Dying, defined as ‘the administration of a voluntary assisted dying substance, and includes steps reasonably related to such administration’ (i.e. physician-assisted dying, not voluntary euthanasia)

Voluntary Assisted Dying will only be available to adults over 18 who live in Victoria, who are able to make their own decisions, suffering from an incurable illness, experiencing intolerable suffering, and expected to die within a year. The only exception is if the person is diagnosed with a neurodegenerative disease, illness or medical condition. In that case, a person may access VAD provided that disease, illness or condition is expected to cause death within 12 months. The legislation is very strict and includes 68 safeguards.

You can find more detailed information here

Organ Donation

Organ and tissue donation is a consideration which often arises at the end of life, both for people who are dying and their families. In some cases donation of organs and tissue may be relatively straightforward, and a person with capacity may specify their wishes in relation to donation. In other cases however, particularly where the person who is dying has impaired capacity, or where the potential donor has already died, the situation becomes more legally and ethically complex. Some people find that while it is generally easy to support the idea of organ and tissue donation, it becomes more difficult when confronted with a request to consent to the donation of a deceased family member’s organs.

Further information about donation is available at from the DonateLife Network, the lead Australian Government body for organ and tissue donation.