A little while ago I was feel like crud most of the time and nothing seemed to be working. I started reading about happiness in an attempt to find out what I was missing. Thats when I realised how messy I was. It really hit home because I just seem to miss on every one of the check boxes that indicate happiness. So I figured it was a pretty good time to drop the shit, figure out the themes of the things going wrong and move on.
So here are the top seven things that were getting in the way of my happiness, and you’ll notice they all belong to me. I cant even blame anyone else for them!
I’m sharing these ones with you because I noticed they also seem to be pretty common themes for many when I look at the extent of the unhappiness. What about you, do any of them fit for you?
1. Blindly filling up with ‘stuff’
I found myself getting jealous of others and wanting more and more all the time without thought. This was quite profound when I realised it. I was gorging myself on stuff I didn’t need and usually didn’t want. I realised I was trying to fill an emptiness I had in my life. It should have been a warning, but it took me ages to notice what I was doing. Nothing was ever enough. I never felt satiated.
It wasn’t till I saw this and realised that the only way my hunger would be quenched was to look inside. The emptiness was inside me. No amount “stuff” I had, fancy dinners I enjoyed, delicious wines I drank, pretty clothes I bought, holidays I went on – none of it was going to make the slightest bit of difference
Are you doing this? Do you feel like our overflowing with “stuff” that doesn’t do anything to satiate your hunger? I think that before you figure out want can satisfy you, you have to learn what the emptiness is.
2. Money was being a bitch
I found myself worried about money all the time. It was taking over. The thing is, I can pay my bills and if I am good, I can save a little bit. What else do I need? I’ve noticed that having more doesn’t make me any happier – so why was it ruling my life? The place I was going wrong was in not being responsible for my money. I didn’t know what was going on with it and I was refusing t look.
Once I looked at it and got clear where I was and where I wanted to go, things got easier. The worry went away. I knew where my budget was and I didn’t have concerns about over spending.
What’s there for you on this one? Are you over spending? Do you know what’s what with your cash flow? Do you need to downsize or re think some of the big purchases you have planned?
3. You can’t concentrate
I spent most of mistime thinking about stuff other that what I was doing. I started to notice that my thought patterns tended to go toward the negative pretty quickly. I also noticed that I was less and less effective at what I was doing because I want paying attention.
I started to meditate again. I used this to help me get my brain back on track again, to help me regain my focus. On top of that I started taking Omega 3 supplements. I had to get myself back to living in the now, paying attention and being present. It’s made a difference.
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4. You have stopped doing the things you love
I saw that I’d given up on the things I loved. I hadn’t been out on my motorbike in ages. I hadn’t been in the studio to paint in months. I felt bored a lot but didn’t do anything that I found fun or engaging.
I made a really conscious effort to get back into garden, I signed up for an art course, found some inspiration, I forced myself out on my motorbike. I had to make time for myself, for recreation, pleasure.
How do you spend your time? Do you have a hobby you love? Are you doing things you enjoy?
5. Work Sucks
I was in a job I had wanted for years, I’d been in in only 3 months before I realised it wasn’t for me. We spend a third of our lives at work – if we hate it, we are ruined. Plus, no matter how much we try to avoid it, our work life always affects our home life.
How does this one stack up for you? Do you love what you do? Are you living your passion?
I quit my job. I’m not necessarily recommending everyone do that – you have to pay the bills, right, but maybe its time to start moving toward a different pathway. What do you love? What are you good at?
6. You are lonely
I had lent of people around me, but I wasn’t letting them in. In my pushing people way, I felt lonely. By feeling lonely, it fed my stories I was telling myself about being unlovable. It was a vicious cycle. Not until I really crashed, did I notice what I had. It wasn’t until I had fallen down that I actually took the time to see the many many hands that reached down to help pick me up.
It’s so easy nowadays to hide behind the laptop, to sit in front of a phone screen, bury ourselves in technology and hide away from actual humans. Being with people, sharing our time and ourselves is so important in finding your own happiness. Without relationships we tend to stagnate.
7. You don’t like you
I wasn’t enjoying anything I was doing, I was grumpy with the people in my life, my heart was closed and I was living from fear. The little voice in my head was endlessly on the self-criticism channel and I couldn’t be present with anyone in the world because I was too self-involved I my own stuff.
It wasn’t until I started to get some help and realise that my little voice is an asshole and I shouldn’t be paying any attention to it.
Give yourself a break
Eventually I had to give myself a break, get into action, take responsibility for my life and my body and take control of my mind and my self-worth. I had to open my heart, as excruciating as it was, I had to find a way to do it so that I could feel love again. Love for myself most importantly. It’s what had me get my happiness back.
I don’t think it’s possible to be happy when you dislike yourself. So, give yourself a break, get up and get back to life. You are a beautiful & valuable. You deserve happiness.
