Yamas and Niyamas can be loosely described as sacred yogic practices, with the Yamas being the big picture stuff, how you are in the world I guess. While the Niyamas are the more personal aspects.
On this yoga journey, I’ve had to look at Yamas and Niyamas and consider (truthfully) where I fit with these, or how well I have mastered these practices and what I might do to move closer to my goal of a peaceful, yogic life of love.
Ahimsa is non violence, and it’s easy to see how that applies in its most obvious form, but its harder to look at it on a deeper level. Violence is insidious in our culture and our community. Living a life of non violence is hard. At its deepest level, I’ve become aware of my internal dialogue and how horrible that can be at times. Ceasing to give attention to that horrible little voice that in my head, not engaging in gossip, even just paying attention to my body and not forcing it into asans can help me move toward a life of non violence. In being mindful of this, I’m finding joy and compassion rise to the surface easily. However being mindful of it is hard. I’m usually half way into a day of cruddy internal dialogue before I notice, then being gentle on myself is key to stepping past it.
Satya – truthfulness. I thought this was easy, I don’t lie, I always tell the truth. But when I look deeper, its harder than I thought. How do I be truthful with myself, honour my own truth, not convince myself of untruths? I’m finding that being vulnerable is key. Being willing to jump and have faith in being caught. Being able to say, ”this is it, this is me, it’s all I have and I love it” helps this journey. Acceptance of what it, what really is rather than accepting the stories I make up about things is key. Being accepting of myself and my faults clears the pathway to accepting others for all that they are and all that they are not. In doing so, I’m finding that speaking and living in Satya is not only possible, it’s enlightening.
There are five Yamas and five Niyamas. I had thought I wouldn’t go through all of them here, I’d just look at the ones that are having an impact or that have required something from me, but as I go through them, I see that they all fit into that category.
Like Aparigraha – greediness – just taking what I need – how do I do this in a world of excess. When I look around and see so many with so little and I have so much, and yet, I want more. All the time, more of everything. For me it connects to Sontosha, or contentment. Living from Aparigraha is easy when you’re living in a state of Santosha. Maybe it’s a chicken and an egg situation, but I’m working on Santosha. I’m giving thanks, I’m breathing. Instead of wanting more, I’m looking at what I have. I’m looking at what the feelings are or the points of discontent and instead of running straight to the usual pattern of “well, if I’m not content then that must mean I need more”, I’m seeing that more of what is already there is probably not the key. I’m beginning to consciously identify different ways of responding, different ways of being that don’t automatically require “more”.
Self-discipline is a bit of a mis-hap for me – Tapas literally translates to “that which causes heat”. I’m working on that. Practice, practice, practice. I want routine in my life. I am comforted by routine and ritual, I’m moving toward that, I’m slowly finding my way – but it is slow, and the road is up and down. I don’t practice anywhere near what I think I should be practicing – but then I don’t know if what I think I ‘should” be doing is real or my ego and my little voice battling it out. So, instead, I’m taking it a day at a time, and in doing so, not beating myself up, I’m committing each day, again and again if I need to, and in doing so, I’m coming from a place of Ahimsa.
Put one foot in front of the other.
